What Families Get Wrong About Dementia Home Care: A Holiday Story That Changes Everything

Jenna Fralick, BScN RN

Introduction: The Holiday Season Isn’t Easy When Dementia Is Part of the Family

Every December, families try their hardest to recreate old traditions while caring for someone they love who is living with dementia.

The result?

A heartbreaking mix of:

• Trying to keep everyone happy

• Hiding how exhausted you are

• Managing dementia symptoms that worsen with holiday noise and change

• Feeling guilty for not being able to “do it all”

• Worrying constantly about safety

And underneath it all, something unspoken:

Families think dementia home care is only for people who are much farther along in the disease.

This belief keeps caregivers overwhelmed and unsupported — especially when the holidays add more pressure, more emotion, and more responsibility.

This blog exists to challenge that belief and replace it with clarity, relief, and understanding.

The Biggest Misconception: “We Aren’t at That Point Yet”

One of the most common things families say when discussing dementia home care is:

“We’re not at that stage yet. She’s still doing okay.”

But “doing okay” often means:

• Forgetting appointments

• Mixing up medication

• Needing cues to eat or drink

• Wandering or attempting to leave the house

• Becoming overwhelmed or agitated

• Struggling with dressing or bathing

• Losing their sense of time

• Being unsafe when left alone for too long

These are early-to-mid signs that dementia home care can make a meaningful difference — not because things are “bad enough,” but because the goal is to prevent burnout and keep life stable.

Research shows family caregivers of people with dementia experience the highest distress levels in the country, especially older women carrying the majority of the emotional and physical workload (Stall et al., 2019; CIHI, 2022).

Dementia home care is not for “the end.”Dementia home care is for right now, so the end doesn’t feel so heavy when it comes.

Why December Makes Dementia Symptoms So Much Harder

The holidays bring beautiful moments… but they also trigger overwhelming challenges for people living with dementia.

Sudden changes in routine can increase:

• Sundowning

• Wandering

• Disorientation

• Agitation

• Fatigue

• Emotional sensitivity

• Confusion about where they are or who visitors are

Busy homes. Holiday lights. Music. Crowds. Unexpected visitors. Late nights.

All of these things create sensory overload.

Families often say:

• “He used to love Christmas lights — now they make him upset.”

• “Mom cries because she thinks she forgot something important.”

• “Dad wanders when he hears noisy gatherings.”

• “She can’t handle the change in routine.”

This is the exact moment when support becomes essential — not optional.

How Dementia Home Care Helps Families Survive the Holidays Without Burning Out

The purpose of dementia home care is simple:

To give structure, safety, predictability, and calm during a time of year that becomes overwhelming for both caregivers and loved ones.

Here is what proper dementia home care can provide during December:

1. Support with activities of daily living

Bathing, dressing, personal hygiene, and meal prep often become more challenging during the holidays.

2. Medication reminders

Changes in schedule lead to missed or doubled doses.

3. Safety supervision

Wandering increases around unfamiliar decorations, guests, and winter schedules.

4. Gentle redirection

Confusion and agitation can be eased with proper dementia-informed approaches.

5. Overnight support

Holiday stress increases nighttime restlessness.

6. Respite for family caregivers

So you can rest, attend events, shop, or simply breathe without becoming overwhelmed.

When all of this is added up, the real gift is not the hours of care.The real gift is the relief caregivers feel when they realize they don’t have to do this alone.

The Holiday Story That Changes Everything

This December, a family contacted our team overwhelmed by their mother’s mid-stage dementia. She was forgetting her grandchildren’s names, wandering to the front door at night, and becoming distressed by Christmas activities she used to love.

Her daughters had been taking turns sleeping on the couch to monitor her. They were trying to hold down jobs, run households, and keep holiday traditions going while silently falling apart.

They insisted:

“We don’t need dementia home care yet. We just need to get through Christmas.”

But “getting through Christmas” meant:

• Not sleeping

• Arguing with siblings

• Feeling resentful

• Hiding how much they were struggling

• Crying in the bathroom between visitors

Once dementia home care began — just two evenings a week and one overnight — everything shifted.

Their mother responded well to a calm, consistent routine.She slept better. Her agitation dropped. Reponsibe behaviours decreased. Mealtimes and family visits became smoother.

And for the first time in months, her daughters felt like daughters again — not crisis managers.

This is why dementia home care matters. It restores dignity, safety, and emotional connection on both sides.

FAQ:

What Is Private Respite Care?

Private respite care provides flexible, short-term support so family caregivers can rest while their loved one remains safe at home.

At Remember When HealthCare, this includes:

• Dementia and Alzheimer’s support

• Personal care

• Meal preparation

• Light housekeeping

• Medication reminders

• Overnight care

• 24/7 live-in options

• Transportation

• Support for persons living with disabilities

Families choose:

• The hours

• The frequency

• The type of help

Everything is built around your loved one’s routine — not ours.

Who Qualifies for Dementia & Respite Care?

Anyone in:

• Nova Scotia

• Prince Edward Island

There are:

• No waitlists

• No assessments

• No income requirements

• No restrictions

Families typically reach out when caring for:

• Seniors

• Persons living with disabilities

• Loved ones with dementia or memory loss

• Individuals recovering after hospital care

• Anyone needing companionship or day-to-day help

If you need help — your family qualifies.

The Social Side: Why Dementia Care Falls on Women (and Why It’s Unfair)

In Canada, older women perform the majority of dementia-related caregiving (Fast et al., 2022). This labour is:

• Unpaid

• Emotionally draining

• Time-consuming

• Physically demanding

• Under-recognized

During the holidays, this burden increases dramatically as women try to:

• Maintain traditions

• Hold families together

• Care for everyone

• Shop, cook, host, and manage

• Protect loved ones with dementia

Dementia home care reduces this entirely unfair load. It gives women the freedom to breathe, reconnect, sleep, and receive support without shame.

Why Asking for Help Is Not “Giving Up” — It’s Giving Your Loved One Better Care

Families often delay dementia home care because it feels like admitting defeat.

But dementia care is not about strength.It is about structure, consistency, and trained support that keeps everyone safe and emotionally grounded.

You are not failing by asking for help.

You are loving your family enough to make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process.

If this December feels heavier than you expected, support is available.

Learn more about Respite Care Services or book a free in-home assessment:👉 Respite Care for Families

Read more about Respite Care here:👉 Blog

Your loved one deserves comfort. You deserve relief. Both are possible.

References

Canadian Institute for Health Information. (2022). Supporting informal caregivers: Care for people living with dementia. CIHI.

Fast, J., Lero, D., Duncan, K., & Doucet, A. (2022). Gender, work, and caregiving in Canada. Journal of Women & Aging, 34(3), 321–338.

Stall, N. M., Kim, S. J., Hardacre, K., Shah, P., & Rochon, P. A. (2019). Caregiver distress in dementia: Impacts on health and safety. JAMA Internal Medicine, 179(2), 233–244.